I was reading my pastors online journal tonight and I was really inspired by one of his entries. Feel free to check out his blog after you read below. His blog is http://www.garysjournal.com My hope is that my classmates can do this for me when I am bleeding..you will get the point after you read below.

Ever noticed how a cut doesn’t hurt until you see the blood?

We had a houseful of friends over Sunday night, and those of you who were here will recall Calleigh (my 5-year old daughter) coming in from the backyard crying. She had been running barefoot when she stepped on a sharp rock, peeling back a chunk of skin on her big toe. I picked her up and sat her in my lap when someone noticed that her foot was bleeding.

And then Calleigh discovered she was bleeding. That’s when things got crazy. At the sight of blood, “crying” transitioned into “hysterical shrieking.” Beth and I carried Calleigh and her siren screams upstairs to the bathroom to wash out the wound, which caused her wailing to go up another couple decibels. In order to keep our guests from being too distracted by this little calamity, we closed the bathroom door, but I’m sure they could still hear my little girl yelling things like, “Stop touching me!!!” and “Leave me alone! Why are you doing this to me???”

Beth and I began to laugh (without Calleigh seeing) because of what it must have sounded like to everyone else in the house. I swear, we were not sawing off her toe…without anesthetic. We were simply running water over her toe, dabbing it with a tissue and putting a Band-Aid over it.

Back to my point… we all have blood. But it freaks some of us out to actually see it. We recognize that we all have blood – and need blood – but we don’t want to see it, ya know.

I think sometimes our struggles and failures and inherent weaknesses are like blood. Deep down we know that everyone has these struggles, blunders, weaknesses, and the like – but we don’t like it when life cuts us in ways that causes this “blood” to show.

I have a confession to make: I bleed. A lot.

I regularly mention – somewhat in joking fashion – that I laugh at the title of “pastor.” One of the reasons it makes me laugh is because I know that I bleed just like everyone else. I have bloody failures and flaws and shortcomings and insecurities. I can be running along gracefully fulfilling my call one minute, and then get tripped up the next.

And when I do, my blood shows.

What I don’t need is for you to approach me with a Band-Aid. Instead, and this may sound weird, I just need you to tell me it’s okay to bleed. And consider bleeding with me.

Back to Calleigh’s traumatic bleeding accident… A couple hours later that same night it was time for Calleigh to go to bed. Her fatigue was getting the best of her as she began crying again about her toe – it hurt, she was embarrassed by how it looked, she couldn’t sleep because it might start bleeding again.

I laid beside her and let her cry and complain. Then I began telling her of a time a few years ago when my toe was bleeding. I shared the story about the time I tripped, stubbed my toe, and it began to bleed. I was embarrassed but some of my friends helped me find a Band-Aid. We applied pressure, put Neosporin on it, wrapped it up and sat there for a while. And my friends sat there with me.

Tears about her toe gradually turned into, “You hurt, too, daddy? And you bled just like me?” She relaxed and soon we drifted off to sleep.

Sometimes when you are bleeding you don’t need a Band-Aid. Instead, you just need someone to tell you that it’s ok to bleed.

Jesus is described as “a man of sorrows” and “acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53). Despised and rejected, Jesus bled.

I grew up thinking of Jesus as a giant Band-Aid. But one of the things I’ve grown to really love about Jesus is that sometimes He doesn’t hand out a Band-Aid; instead He simply says, “It’s ok to bleed.”

Christian community is when we bleed together. It’s not a small group of people who gather to fix one another, or to share the latest remedy that worked for your grandma. To me, this is what healthy community looks like: Sit beside me, and let me bleed without it freaking you out.

And know that you are welcome to bleed with me.

I just realized I had never blogged about my first meeting with my classmates at the end of June...so I am sorry about that!

I met 9 of my classmates at the end of June. We got together and had dinner which was a blast! I do have to say it was difficult talking to people at the other end of the table but I am sure we will make up for lost time once school starts! :) Many of us compared interviews and who we interviewed with. We also just talked about our lives in general. It just felt good being around people who want to do the same profession as me! I really think God has blessed us to be with each other as a group and I really see us all helping each other out (Click images to make larger).


Between June and now, I quit my job June 25th in order to take time off before school started. It was really important to me that I would have time with friends and family before this 27month journey called PA school. I went down and spent 3 weeks with my parents. I spent quite a few hours in the OR (operating room), with my father. On one of the cases, I actually got to scrub in and stand at the table. The patient had broken his femur while he was bowling. This was the first time I had ever stuck my hand inside a living human body. I first felt the layer of fat, then the man's muscle and surrounding tissue, and lastly bone. It was quite the experience, and weird to be standing next to my father in his domain.



Now back in Tampa, I am finalizing details for school. I have all my supplies I need. Scrubs have been bought, batteries and bulbs for my otoscope/opthalmascope have been bought also, documents have been faxed and scanned, immunization record is on its way. Things are getting down to the wire. Am I scared..not really. It is more of a nervousness. I want to be successful at my profession. I dont want to be a good PA, I want to be a PA that someone will remember for a lifetime.

My car broke down yesterday--so it has been a struggle these last two days. My car just turned 8 years old. I truly love her but she has been such a pain this past year and a half. I am thankful it broke down now before school started but I was in no shape to be paying up for costly repairs. I cried yesterday morning about it because it is just a stressful time. I know God has a reason for this but we don't always understand His ways. It is just one more hoop I will have to jump through and I am sure it won't be the last hoop with my car. Being that I live on my own now, asking my parents for help is never ever a thing I enjoy doing. I would rather be broke than ask my parents to pay for my car. I am responsible for my car..but am in no shape to have 750 dollars to pay for it either. It is just something I would rather not do.. However, I need a car, so I have to get it fixed.

On a lighter note, this past week has been spent with friends. I saw two movies this weekend, Salt and Despicable me. Great movies and I loved both of them! I also attended a pot luck dinner at my friends house which was great. I love home cooked food! I also met with a group of classmates again on July 24th. We went bowling and had an awesome time!! We all bowled a great game the first round, decided to do a second round but we were all much too interested in talking than the game! :) We decided to go grab a bite to eat. It is such a pleasure getting to know my classmates in a relaxed atmosphere. I hope that we continue to do so once we are more in a stressful environment. We just have to remember, we are all in this together and we all have to support one another.

44 days until PA school and we received our packets in the mail today that include our health packet information for physicals and our class schedule. I am not sure what else, because I dont physically have it in my hands. I am visiting my parents until school starts. A fellow classmate of mine typed out our schedule so I could see it. It is a lot but I definitely think it is a fair schedule. (Ok on a side note I cannot figure out how to post the schedule due to I am new to the mac and dont know how to save the graph as a picture). I will come back and edit it to include the schedule.

On a side note, my mother and I went shopping for white coat ceremony dresses today. I almost chose a beautiful dress but a) it was way over-priced and b) it was poorly made. So, I did not purchase one. I will however keep looking for the perfect dress. My mother swore "tribal print" was in, which I do believe her. However, when looking back to those pictures 20 years from now I dont want my future kids to go, "MOM!!! What were you thinking?"