This week has been one of the roughest I have ever been through my entire life. I haven't experienced death much...especially of a loved one. My grandfather died when I was 5 and my yorkie died in 8th grade. I'm still not quite sure how to handle this whole situation.

On Friday may 20th, I was home from school and just waking up from a nap. I grabbed my computer and logged on facebook. One status catches my eye with the name of my ex boyfriend. "Please pray for Cory...he was in a horrible motorcycle accident and is in critical condition." I immediately started shaking in fear of knowing how bad the accident actually was.

If you are a follower of my blog, you may have remembered a previous entry about him. You can read it Here

I immediately messaged his best friend and asked him how bad it was. A 17 year old had pulled in front of Cory while he was riding his motorcycle. He was thrown off the bike which in return fractured both hips, his femur, caused a collapsed lung, and bilateral lung contusions. He was airlifted to a nearby hospital and placed on a ventilator. "Oh Lord, please let him make it through this. He is such a fighter, he has already battled cancer, please get him through this," I prayed.

On May 21st at 3:41am I lost someone so near and dear to my heart. Words cannot express how broken my heart is. Cory, the sweetest, most caring, loving, devoted, humble, strongest, determined, and, loved God..his family and his friends. I was fortunate enough to share so much with him and he has taught me so much. I am forever grateful. God called him to heaven and I will miss him always. Please pray for his family and friends everyone.

I would also like to take this time and say how amazing he is. Cory battled cancer since 2007. He was able to share with me his testimony which I will post below. He never once complained about the cancer but saw it as a blessing in his life. He will always be in my heart and always be someone that touched me dearly. Please take a look at his testimony.


In April of 2005, I was in an automobile accident when my vehicle struck a tree. My injuries consisted of a collapsed lung, head contusion, damaged spleen, broken ribs, and a dislocated right hip. The orthopedic surgeon that had patched me up said that I would never be able to run again. By the Grace of God, I am running upwards of 8-12 miles a day now.

-Psalms 146:3 “Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.”

In May of 2007, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I was staged at a IV-B, the worst stage of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. After 6 months of chemotherapy followed by nearly 2 months of radiation, the cancer was declared to be in “remission”. Due to the size and spreading of the cancer before treatment or the biopsy procedure performed to gain evidence of my having cancer, my left phrenic nerve was severed. The phrenic nerve is a nerve that supplies movement to the diaphragm. The left side of my diaphragm was paralyzed and could no longer contract and relax, preventing my left lung from expanding and deflating during inhalation and expiration of breaths. Once again the doctors said that I would never be able to run long distances again. By the Grace of God, I am running upwards of 8-12 miles a day now.

- 2 Corinthians 12:7 “And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

I believe in my heart that God has a reason for everything that happens in our life whether it be good or bad. God permits us to go through many trials that we may look to Him for healing and comfort. We are to glorify His name through the healing.

- John 11:4 “When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.”

From verification through another biopsy, the cancer has returned once again. The doctors are telling me that my only option for survival is bone marrow transplant with high-dose chemotherapy. I followed the physician’s advice and paid a visit to M.D. Anderson in Houston, TX over the summer. They’re well known all over the world as the “cancer center”. My visit to M.D. Anderson was not a pleasant one. The physicians told me that if I did not do the treatment that I would surely die and that there was no hope without it. I found one of the physicians, the stem cell transplant specialist, to be scornful and not open to any other means of fighting the cancer. The chapel inside the hospital was very open to all religions, from Muslims to Buddhists, and was ecumenical in the extreme being decorated with every manner of religious symbol. A decision to receive treatment from there did not seem right according to my beliefs. 1 Kings 11: 1-9 (King Solomon)

-Psalm 1:1 “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful.”

A PET/CT scan shows a lymphnode with a diameter of about 2in in my chest. However, I show no signs or symptoms related to Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I feel I am in no need of a physician at the present time, but I pray that God will let me know when it is in fact time to seek the help of a physician.

-Matthew 9:12 “But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, they that are well need not a physician, but they that are sick.”

Given my situation I can’t help but think of the story of Job. God even said that Job was a “perfect and upright” man. God believed in Job so strongly that he was willing to let Satan test Job’s faith by afflicting him with a horrible disease. Job 2:8 says how Job used pieces of broken pottery to scrape the boils that covered his entire body. His own wife and friends did not even recognize him because he was so diseased. Even after his wife left him and his three friends accused him of committing a horrible sin to bring about such a horrible state, he never lost faith in God. Though Satan tried Job’s faith in hopes of making him blame and curse God for his disease, he never once lost faith in God. Job 2:10 says “In all this did not Job sin with his lips”. Job remembered all the blessings that God had given him. Blessings are a gift from God, not comforts we have earned, and we should prepare ourselves spiritually for the days of testing that surely will come to us. If it is the Lord who blesses us, then He has the right to withdraw His blessings. We do not merit his goodness, so what right do we have to complain when he withholds it? Job 1: 21-22 ‘……the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord. In all this. Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.”


I feel God has a reason for allowing me to have this cancer. I know He has a plan for my life. I don’t believe God would put me through so many trials if He didn’t. I consider this diesease a blessing in hopes of sharing with others what God has done in my life, and what He has blessed me with. He has gotten me through so much in my life. I pray that He allows me to use this disease to witness to others showing that God does answer prayers. I am training to run a marathon in February. I love to run, and I thank God for allowing me to continue to run considering everything that has happened to me. I feel God has allowed me the ability to continue to run to glorify Him through my running and witness to others. I plan to show others that even with this pestilence, I will finish the race.

-Psalms 91:1-3 “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence(disease).”

-1 Corinthians 9-26:27 “Therefore I run in such a way, as not with aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air, But I discipline my body and make it my slave. So that after I have preached to others. I myself will not be disqualified.”