This topic has been weighing heavy on my heart today. I am amazed by how much sickness is involved in every day life. This post isn't to depress but to merely express my feelings about the situation.

When I was 5, my grandfather passed from prostrate cancer. Then at the age of 13, my mother was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Something I didn't quite understand at that age. I know many of my friends who suffer from anxiety and the list goes on of people I know who deal with different diseases or sickness.

However, one of the hardest things I had to deal with is someone that I loved and dated that had been diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma half way in to our relationship. I remembered where I was standing as I received the news over the phone. I backed myself up into the corner of the kitchen and listened to him tell me these words. I could tell he was upset but didn't want to deal with it as he said, "Well, I am going to go play some basketball." I stood shocked..basketball??

You see I knew this could of happened..but we as humans always hope for the best in relationships. He had been previously diagnosed when he was 21, did the chemo, then went into remission. This time around, no chemo--he wanted alternative.

Alternative medicine is not something that has been programmed in my noggin. Do I think there are some great uses for it? Yes. However, I also think it should be used with the medicine we have today.

We struggled back and forth, cried together, laughed together, prayed for one another, and loved one another. We would do anything for each other. I even told him if he needed a bone marrow transplant I would donate my marrow. To make things more difficult, I lived in FL and he lived in Louisiana. I could go on and on about our story.

So how does this tie in to being a PA? Well, I have this incredible urge to help people and when I can't, it makes me sad. In this situation, my ex boyfriend (yes, we broke up after realizing it was best for the both of us). My ex, was in control of his own body and his own decisions. No matter how much I begged, cried, pleaded that he do something else, in the end, it was his choice.

With patients, I will be able to educate and walk them through, but I won't ultimately be making decisions for them...its their own.

In August, it will be one year since the break up. To this day he says he is doing fine..not in remission but as healthy as you can get with having cancer. To this day I am still asking about this treatment and PET scans. He is an amazing person with an incredible heart and faith in God like you wouldn't believe. I honestly have learned so much from him..especially to put my faith in God more than I ever was.

What are your thoughts? How do you deal with diseases and sickness?